Hello young ladies, I am delighted to be writing us again. Hope we are all doing great?
Am going to be writing on this very sensitive subject that most of us know about, it has been on my mind for God knows how long and now I want to share my thoughts and the lessons I have learnt. Its called attitude, some people call it ‘acting up’. I’ve had discussions where this topic came up and it ended up being called a ladies thing. They concluded that ladies have many issues and one just can’t understand us. Well, let me leave you to decide if this is true or not.
First, let me explain what I mean by attitude so we can be on the same page.
Am really gonna be plain here, don’t be offended if you are a culprit, I have been in it too so we are in this together. A lady is giving you attitude when she is not walking in love towards you, when she is not being her real self to you, most times it’s because of reasons you don’t know about yet, other times its because you probably did or didn’t do something or you said something and, bam! She locks up. In some other extreme occasions, you did absolutely nothing and you are left in the dark to wonder where you missed it.
Some display it when they play hard to get even though they love you, others through monosyllabic answers, purposefully ignoring your calls, unnecessary delays in replying your text messages or chats just to you hang you and appear uninterested in the conversation (even when they are). These are just few ways I know, there are others (add your own). Some do it to get more attention, more money, get you to say sorry or do something they want you to do.
Still, some blame it on hormonal changes associated with the monthly cycle. Though this one appears to be an excusable reason, but it soon translates into mood swings that may affect the way we relate with one another and live life generally. I don’t think it’s a sign of maturity to announce to everyone that it’s that time of the month and that the whole world is supposed to stop because of some hormone in your body. So if this is your reason, you can learn to manage it effectively.
Having said that, let’s examine the whole attitude ‘thingy’ that result from the other reasons I mentioned earlier. The thing about this attitude is that it is sweet to do. Let me explain, have you ever heard someone say “she’s giving me attitude”? I have given some people attitude many times and I enjoyed every bit of it. It’s sweet because it puts you in control; it gives you ‘undue’ powers over people. But I must confess now that I know better, it is manipulative, childish and selfish.
Attitude is the reason many relationships didn’t materialize. It’s the reason even some heaven-approved courtships didn’t make it to the altar. This thing wrecks relationships, friendships, homes and beautiful memories. It is very manipulative and has a close link with witchcraft, am sure that’s the last thing you want to be involved in. It makes you the center of gravity and you care less about the other person.
Many relationships start up on a very good foundation, and people automatically expect it to end well. This is not always true. Nobody lives in a foundation, what we live in is a house, a completed building. Though the foundation matters a lot, but you don’t stop there, you keep building. It is this matter of building well that we are looking at. If you are building you relationship with a lot of bad attitude, am afraid of what it will become.
Another thing about attitude is that it brings results. It gets you what you want; probably attention, more money, apologies and even worship, you become like one indispensable royalty that everyone has to bow to. But that’s all you can get, you get to lose people, good people. You let go of the fruit of the Spirit. You neglect love, kindness, peace and all the beautiful blessings that they bring. You ignore integrity and truthfulness, the list is just endless. Attitude always leads to quarrels.
It’s time to grow up and drop all the childish stuffs; there is no gain in all that. Lets treat one another (especially brothers) like we would like to be treated. Just take a sit one day, sit down on the other side and switch roles, assume you were the other person, how would you want to be treated? There is nothing noble about forming James Bond. I’ve been there and I can tell you it’s not the way of life in the spirit. How do I know? I found it in the word of God.
Actually, God expects us to have attitude- the attitude of Christ Phil 2:3-5
I love how the NIV bible puts it: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. In your relationship with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.
(MSG) Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lead a helping a hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself.
(AMP) Do nothing from factional motives (through contentiousness, strife, selfishness or for unworthy ends) or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself (thinking more highly of one another than yourselves). Let each of you esteem (and) look upon (and) be concerned for not (merely) his own interest, but also each for the interests of others. Let this same attitude (and) purpose and humble mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: Let Him be your example in humility.
Wow! We are only allowed to have the attitude of Christ.
I started noticing this when I was a teenager, the society told me it was part of being a lady, all the talk about needing attention. But now I know it is the old man, the inherent nature of eve. Initially, I was praying for God to remove it, but I have discovered that it’s not about God removing it, He has removed it already. If you are saved, you have been saved from that too. It’s just for you to know it and walk in the light of it. It’s like choosing faith over feelings, choosing to tell the truth when all your flesh wants to do is lie, it works the same way. We can choose to stop feeding this fleshly act and sincerely walk in love. It’s about renewing our minds and unlearning these things we have learnt over time. It’s not easy but it’s possible.
Next time you have opportunity to display that “attitude thingy”, just stick out the attitude of Christ and let it flow. In fact flaunt it, let heads roll and let Christ be glorified above self after all that’s what we are here for isn’t it? God is working in us to make us like Christ, not like our society wants us to be.
Attitude is not a good thing and though it thrives and works well in the world. It must not be seen in God girls.
After all, we have the attitude of Christ already; we don’t need the other attitude.
Much Love
#This has post has a second part where I shared practical ways we can deal with this ‘attitude thingy’.
