Telling my Love story

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Love is splendid; colourful like butterflies, beautiful as many bands of lights! The pursuit of love is noble. Whatever it costs, any situation it brings, it is better to stand firm on the conviction of love. A spark of love in a secret chamber breeds joy. Love tells me why the earth has not fallen off its orbit.

I’d never felt this flushing chills mixed with excitement before but for her unveiled face that caught my gaze. So I slipped into an anticipated dilemma being a bit confused about the sudden chemistry. I rolled over those fine feelings across synapses as time moved with the slowest pace while my heart enlarged and worked at speed of light. Now the love I’d read and talked so much about came right before me and stood for my admiration.

Can I trust my next move? She’s been registered in my heart,  but how do I reach out to her? Or at least show that I do care to? In the midst of this brain storming, the puzzle was worked up. I said, “Wooh! Where on earth have you been all my life, I’ve never seen such a dazzling radiance in human face; can the sun please hold her peace…” Sincerely, those words had never existed anywhere around me before. They just came out of the blues!

But how did I learn the art of trading in borrowed words, even the little tricks? Anything about me that I’d never realized? Was that first impression anything to go by? And could this whole episode be read as love in a haste? All those questions plunged into my little head, while I pondered on the merits of love; each love having its share of heroism, an obscure heroism, born of abdication, of renunciation and acceptance under the merciless whip of fate. Indeed my love story had just begun!

I was out to pursue love. But can one ever have a reason for failing in this enterprise? I can’t plead for my being naïve, not when my courage had not dropped a bit. And this resplendent Amazon was a rare find. Oh! My goodness, many thoughts ran through my head; “I can’t lose this gem”, resounded loudest. “No”, I voiced out under my breath in the most unconscious manner. As we pathed ways, I couldn’t boast of knowing anything beyond her name, though it seemed she lived within the urban axis.

We only walked away to meet again, I assured myself. Though out of sight, she was very much at heart, so much that I was dampened by endless thoughts about the elegant figure that once stood before me. I was helpless there on my couch; some vacuum had been drilled inside me. A close friend diagnosed my ordeal and the result said I was love sick. Has any doctor got a pill for my condition? I doubt if there’s any treatment regimen within the orthodox.

I had been afloat in the sea of love, but as I moved my rooks in this game, it seemed I was drifting into oblivion. Not even the smallest trace of my desire was near satisfaction. Then I took to writing, not with the intention to get a deal with any publisher, but to show her the excerpt from my heart. Frankly I was grateful for the invention of the ink pen and day and night I inked out my passion. “Scientists and Philosopher have discovered many things, but I’ve found you”, they kept flowing down on paper!

My fever intensified. But I was still uncertain if the wonder drug for my deteriorating condition was available anywhere. At least not even a scrap paper reply had turned in. Passion with tension had gripped me down the marrow and the tricks were playing in my heart lately. Right then I was afraid. Yet I could ask just one question; “is it a crime to be in love?”

It’s never been a crime to be in love, but I was held in prison because I dared to love. I was locked behind her bars yet she didn’t know I ever got in there. This same love I had so much admired and fallen into is the only one who can free me from this confinement.

We meet again down town during one windy Friday afternoon. My heart leaped with excitement at the sight of her. I tried being calm but the wild desire within never yields to any attempt to be tamed. Of course, it was the second time the sun had shone on me after we met last. What was going on in my mind had no enough words for description in all of the lexicons.

We got talking and I wished I could buy a space in eternity and never end our being together. Time’s up, so I was about returning to my detention cell, no thanks to her disappearing into the busy traffic. I went down the ground state again, but not after I had begged for another date. The arms of clock were too reluctant in their assignment as I waited on days. There was no permanent remedy for my worsening trauma, so I looked forward to whatever fate brings.

How am I to tell? One does not fix appointments with fate.  Fate grasps whom it wants, when it wants. When it moves in the direction of your desires, it brings you joy. But more often than not, it unsettles and crosses you. Then one has to endure. All the while, I had endured the strange buzz which disrupted my life.

After several weeks, I found myself sitting over a launch with the one whose love once captivated me. Good God had done a work in my life some days before. My freedom and healing was real and I felt some peace I had never known before. We had a late launch there at the eatery as we discussed. Then I broke the silence, “I think I see you now in the same way God sees you…” I began. Indeed I had discovered an excellent way to love and I kissed dating good bye. Our friendship took a new direction and whatever happened to love, I just couldn’t tell but my new chapter was opened.

Yes, “love never fails”, the preacher in my local assembly repeated while telling a story I considered the most profound expression of love ever. Why did he love me? I never can tell. Why did he suffer to save me from sin? Nothing but infinite grace from above could have conceived such a story of love! But above all, I’m glad that my saviour’s love story could be found written somewhere in my own love story.

How I walked out of those “love-is-blind-and-cripple scenes was amazingly divine. Indeed I wanted to show love, but when I met one whose love brought salvation to mankind, I knew mine was not love at all and what I called love was a misnomer. So I embraced this saving love; still learning what it means to love from his love book, the bible and pointing people towards this great love of Christ.

xoxo.

By Nedu©