The phase between being single and becoming a married person comes with a lot of changes and how one handles this transitioning can make or mar their relationships.
A lot of times there is a debate whether to keep being friends with your single friends after you get married.
People ask if it’s okay to remain close or should one limit the level of closeness or detach from their friends entirely?
Many people throw away their friends after marriage simply because they are now married. Truth remains that a lot will change when you get married and this will include your company.
Being able to maintain a good rapport with your friends must be intentional and consistent.
I am not one of those who believe that you should cut away from your single friends after marriage because ‘levels don change’, that’s crap.
By the way, I am assuming your friends are sensible people; if they are not, do the needful already.
On the flip side; a lot of times, it’s the single friends that give you ‘space’ after the wedding because they feel you become too busy when you get married.
As much as one needs space for honeymooning and family life after the wedding, there’s no harm in reaching out and reconnecting afterwards.
Another truth is that when you get married, you will likely become friends with your spouse’s friends and hang out with them.
While doing this, don’t detach from your single friends as though singleness was a crime. Learn to carry them along.
When conversing, let your conversations edify one another and never think that you are superior or better off just because you are married.
Remember, life is in phases. Everyone goes through the phases at different times.
As much as you are keen about making new friends, you should be intentional about keeping your ‘old’ friends. Checking up on them regularly as much as you can will help too.
Be interested in their interests and focus on making each other become better regardless of which phase of life you are in.
And if you are single, it’s not a crime to check up on your married friends and also be intentional about maintaining your friendship.
An easy way to do this is to ask about their spouses or kids(if any) and continually wish them well.
I discovered that when you don’t care about people’s family you can’t relate well with them and they eventually cut you off.
The goal is to grow with your friends, laugh with them, mourn with them and celebrate with them.
Finally, I get asked if it’s okay to take advice from your single friends after you get married.
The fact remains that your family should always take precedence in every decision making process.
They must be your priority and every action you want to take must pass through this seive- “What is best for my family first?”
So any advice or suggestion that doesn’t pass this test should not be heeded regardless of where it is coming from.
I believe that God brings people into our lives and we must never take them for granted.
Have a blessed week and don’t forget to check up on your friend this week.
So, who is checking up on me?