Kamsi and Philly began seeing each other more often. He didn’t ask her out officially and she didn’t mind. As for her, she was enjoying the moment. Philly wasn’t as mean as she thought. He was a nice guy and like Dorcas would say…”he doesn’t bite.”
They would go to the movies together on weekends and on some weekdays Philly stopped by at her place in the evenings and she always enjoyed his company. One time she caught herself not wanting him to leave. Kamsi was lonely and single. She needed a friend.
Kamsi still couldn’t believe how things changed so fast between her and Philly. Few weeks ago she didn’t think much of him and then bam…! She couldn’t stop thinking about him. She liked the new name he called her “K-girl”. Anytime he called her that, Her thoughts ran wild- all thanks to Hollywood movies.
Philly on the other hand liked Kamsi a lot. He liked her strong personality and wanted to build their friendship and get to know her more. But he wasn’t sure of himself yet. He needed to understand what his feelings meant.
Was it momentary or was it for the long haul? He had never loved a girl before but he had never felt the way he felt with Kamsi with anyone else. Was this the love everyone talked about or was it just a feeling?
He contemplated telling Kamsi how he felt but he couldn’t seem to find the right words and he was afraid Kamsi will call him bluff. He had never been rejected and this was one of his greatest fears.
He also wanted to be sure Kamsi shared the same values with him. He didn’t like the idea of dating just for the fun of it. For him, dating must be purposeful, exclusive and ultimately lead to marriage. But he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. He still had a long life ahead of him. What if Kamsi wanted marriage?
Kamsi wanted to know what they were both into. Were they in a relationship? Was Philly feeling what she was feeling? Was he planning to ask her out soon? When? She considered talking to Philly about it but remembered she was in Africa where it was considered a taboo and only the guys asked the ladys out.
She wanted to be in a relationship and somehow, she wanted Philly.
Kamsi was getting worried that she hadn’t heard from the NGO. After the interview, they had promised to contact her in two weeks but it was getting to the third week. She called the HR earlier in the day but the phone rang out. She picked her phone to call John, one of the guys she met at the interview. They sat close to each other while waiting to be interviewed and exchanged numbers to keep tabs on the outcome.
She had sent him a whatsapp message but he didn’t reply.
She rang him.
“Hello John, it’s Kamsi.”
“Hey Kamsi, I know. How are you? Been trying to reach you.”
“Same here. I even sent you a message on whatsapp but you didn’t reply.”
“Sorry dear, I didn’t see it o. Have been out of data for two days. These guys called me to resume and I had to mop up all the funds I had to get ready and travel. I don’t even have money for airtime.” John lamented
“Really? Wow! Congratulations! When did they call you?”
“Last week Thursday. I was asked to report to the office on Monday to resume work. So sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Wow, John! I am happy for you. You are very lucky o, they didn’t call me. Do you know if they will take more people?”
“Heyaa. I don’t really know but I overheard the HR saying it was two people they needed. And we are two already. Myself and that first girl they interviewed. You remember her?”
“Yea, I think so.” Kamsi didn’t remember.
“Don’t worry dear, they may change their mind. Just keep your hopes high, you never can tell. And if anything comes up I will let you know.” John replied.
“Okay. Thanks.” Kamsi knew he would not.
She slumped into her bed with tears flowing down her cheeks. Hot tears. She had never been this despondent in her entire life. For the first time, she wanted to go back home.
She was tired of the disappointments. She had hoped the job would work out, she had prayed and believed. What went wrong? Did John know someone that helped him get the job? What did she not do right?
She rembered her mother’s words. “Life is not a bed of roses. Things will not always go the way you planned. As you grow up, life happens, disappointments come and things may change. Being an adult means you must be ready to take up responsibilities, make your own decisions and be ready to face the consequences.” But Kamsi wasn’t ready. She was tired of being an adult and desperately desired the luxury of having someone provide for you and make all the right decisions for you.
But going home was not a good idea. She wasn’t ready for her mother’s marriage lectures and endless matchmaking. Worse still, she would not have a job if she went home so she would be forced to stay at home and do all the chores. And the compulsory family daily devotion at 5am and 10pm everyday? No, not again.
Kamsi’s rent was due and she couldn’t afford to renew it. Maybe she shouldn’t have left home in the first place. Maybe she wasn’t yet as ‘adult’ as she thought.
Though she was one of those who believed that after graduation and NYSC, one shouldn’t return to his or her father’s house, right now she thought otherwise.
After all, was that a general rule? Did it apply to everyone or a select few who were lucky? Who even made the law? What if she went back home, would that mean she was still a child and dependent on her parents?
These questions filled her heart and brought more tears to her eyes. She felt she had made a terrible mistake and was now facing the consequences of her bad decision.
She was caught up in between the desire to be responsible and independent and the need to be catered for and have someone make life’s decisions for you and bear all the risks. But could she pay the price for adulthood?
Back then in school, she had always dreamt of living the good life after graduation: Finish school, get a good job, get married, give birth to beautiful kids and live happily ever after. But was this the reality or just a figment of her imagination?
Was there anything like the good life? She always imagined that if there was, it must be filled with happiness, love, laughter and of course, plenty money. Did such a life exist?
Kamsi concluded that if it did, then it must be for those who were destined to have it and she wasn’t one of them.
Looking around and seeing all that was happening she felt she was loosing pace. All her friends were moving forward in life- new jobs, new homes, new beginnings. But her? No, she was stuck.
She always thought of her friends and how their lives were going very smoothly. Dorcas was getting married to the love of her life in a few months and she had a very good job. Peace joined her father’s company after NYSC and became a manager two years later. Chiagozie was expecting her first baby.
“Oh Lord, these things happening in other people’s lives, when will they start happening in mine?” She cried.
Just then, her phone rang. It was Philly.
“How are you doing?” Philly asked.
“I’m Fine and you?”
“I’m cool. Are you free? We need to talk.”