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Hy friends,

It’s been a minute and I must confess that a whole lot has happened. Between motherhood, work and ministry; I’ve have my fair share of busyness and you won’t believe that I have contemplated pulling down my website and quiting many times.

At one time, I had to come here to read my own posts to encourage myself and get fired up and boy, did I? Hell yes!

I have sincerely missed writing. I won’t promise you I’m fully back. Lol. But I can guarantee you’ll be getting more consistent content from me and I’m determined to keep the pace as I’m currently working on a feasible schedule and I’ll let you guys know soonest.

One thing is sure: Nasalian blog is going nowhere and I’m not giving up on writing. All I need is your feedback in the comment section and shares to everyone you know

Now to the business of the day!

I do not consider myself qualified to write this post as I have no weight loss story or struggles to share or any tips on how to help you lose post-partum weight but I’ve been asked a lot of questions about this.

As much as I want to give instant answers, I found out there are none. However, I’ll share a few thoughts that will help couples whether the lady eventually succeeds in losing weight or not.

This letter is directed to husbands and all young men who will one day become husbands and fathers.

Dear husband and Father,

It is no longer news that your wife’s body may not remain the same during and after pregnancy and childbirth. It is not a matter of prayer, diet or exercise; it is a fact of life.

While there are exceptions to this unspoken rule, most people don’t achieve the great body they once had no matter what they do and this is totally okay.

First of all, you need to let this truth sink deep into your heart. Stop thinking of the woman you married 5 years ago, yes it’s been 5 whole years! A lot has changed, she has grown and so have you; I bet you are not the same too.

This is why unmarried men must desist from focusing solely on physique when choosing a wife, though it may be important to many, it is only one aspect of a woman’s life.

After having a baby, some women retain their stature as though nothing happened. However, some do not for several reasons many of which are not the woman’s fault.

This is one of the leading causes of post-partum depression among women and has sent many to an endless weight loss journey at the gym and Pharmacies for slimming teas.

Let me shock you, those things don’t work! Apart from the cost implications, your wife is overworking her kidneys and liver if she keeps taking those teas. It will do you well to save her the stress because most people who resort to this do it to retain their husband’s affection.

As a husband, one of the best gifts you can give your wife is to accept her new body as your current reality. Sometime ago, I saw a man post an old picture of his wife who now had some weight on after three kids.

I found this disturbing for someone who rarely posts his wife’s pictures on social media because this picture was taken when she was still a student and very slim. I decided to mind my business until I noticed his wife’s displeasure with that.

The message he was passing was subtle but clear: ‘I miss your slim body, can I have it back?”

Husbands, affirm, reaffirm and keep affirming!

Do you know your wife’s new weight or left over baby fat can be a point of affirmation from you. You can make something beautiful out of it instead of showing her how much you miss her old body both verbally and nonverbally.

No need to tease or mock her as if to deny reality but you can constructively affirm and reassure her of how you appreciate her body.

Let me show you how: “Babe, you’ve changed in an amazing way and I totally love it. You’re more curvy and much fuller and it’s so beautiful.”

You need to let her know you are at peace with her new body. Desist from comparing your wife to other slim women even if you say it jokingly.

Don’t tell her how you wish she was slim like before or like any other woman, this is so unhealthy for her mind.

And guess what? Every woman’s body changes in one way or the other, some are just more obvious than others.

The truth is; the more you affirm your wife, the more she loves her body and settles into it better, this is because it may not change. I really need this to sink in!

The more she’s at home with these changes, the better she’s able to cope with it and she’ll respond better to criticisms from outsiders.

You must be the first to defend your wife when other people pass comments about her weight. You must never take sides with anyone against her.

However, if she’s open to working out to get back in shape, it’s fine but it shouldn’t be rigorous or immediately after delivery.

Give her time and support her wholeheartedly; bringing a child into this world is no small feat and no price is too great to pay. I’ve seen cases where some women snapped back after many years so give your wife all the time she needs.

Most importantly, if you notice physical attraction is dwindling, it’s time to go back to the Father and ask for new wine to keep you intoxicated with her beauty. It’s time to draw her closer and let her feel at home and safe in your arms.

You have a Father who is interested in every single detail of your life no matter how trivial; go to him in prayer and talk about it. If it matters to you, then it matters to Him.

Finally, I strongly believe no woman should be pressured into losing weight after delivery or made to feel she’s no longer beautiful just because she has some weight on.

Even if the society does this, it should never come from a loving husband. Your work is to tend, nurture and protect your wife, this is the only way she’ll maintain a body, soul and spirit that glows and sparkles no matter her weight or number of children.

I hope this helps, let me know what you think in the comment section.

Written by

Nasalian

Hey there,
I am Chinasa, one fiercely loved by Christ and wife of an amazing husband.

I am passionate about not missing the simplicity that is in Christ Jesus that's why on Nasalian blog I love to tell stories in a radical and simple way.

I love to write and create insightful contents and reviews that'll leave you thinking outside the box and when I'm not reading or writing, I love to meet people, talk and travel (no sea routes please!)

Yours sincerely can stay in a room for 'forever' as long as I have spaghetti, good books, good music, and my husband😊.

So people like to think that I'm quiet but heyyyy I'm loud on paper!

One of my lifelong dreams is attending a Hillsong conference preferably in Australia and vacationing in Orlando Florida at the same time. Don't ask me how #smiles.

Join me on my blog and let's connect on other social media platforms @nasalianblog.

I'm glad you found your way here and I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay; there are many rooms for you- don't forget to look around and get comfortable.

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