I couldn’t believe they were going to search evey one of us, every single one!
“Them dey search Peace bus?” Mr Know-it-all murmured.
“I tire o, I never see this one before.” Mr Fresh boy answered.
“They are doing their job” Mr Pastor reminded everyone.
It was difficult to tell if he meant what he said or he was only saying it to enter the good books of the policeman who had opened the door and was now standing beside our bus.
Relucantly, we all came down, each person muttering abuses under their breath; some to the policeman, others to the government and of course, some to our dear Buhari.
One by one he searched our bags and pockets thoroughly while two other policemen hovered around our vehicle as if they smelt a bad omen.
Surprisingly they found a cutlass in our bus, you know what that means right?
Our journey was going to be at least one hour longer than planned!
All explanations as to why Mr Know-it-all had a cutlass in his possession failed to convince the hungry-looking policemen whose eyes were already calling out for some kudi.
All mouths were on deck pleading with them to tamper justice with mercy but he insisted on getting kola which the driver was very relucant to give since the policeman did not have N500 change and was instisting on taking Mr know-it-all to the station and the driver too- as an accomplice.
“Officer abeg no carry driver go, I take God beg you. I dey go Benin today.” Mr Fresh boy pleaded.
“So he should now take me abi? See how selfish you are.”
Turning to the policeman, Mr Know-it-all continued
“I have told you sir, I use it to work; I just finished clearing grasses at site, I have another work to do at Opi, abeg. I no dey carry am do any bad thing.”
”Sir, this youngman has no bad intentions from all he has said, lets not make a mountain out of a mole hill. This is a simple mistake, you can take the knife if you want. My friend here has been a peaceful man all through this journey, please officer” Mr Englishman spoke.
“Make una enter motor. Oga, next time be very careful. Meanwhile, I don seize this cutlass, it is a weapon so I no go give you back.”
“You are a very dedicated, deligent and dependable policeman with an impeccable character; the kind we need to eliminate corruption, greed and all forms of ominious activities going on in this country…”
“Supuu!” Miss Sweet voice exclaimed interrupting Mr Englishman’s long grammer.
“God bless you Sir.” Mr Pastor thanked the policeman.
“Thank you sir” Most people echoed.
We continued our journey and in other to buy time and beat the night looming at us, the driver began speeding uncontrollably and didn’t heed warning from the passengers.
He was about to overtake a trailer when the man turned his steering about 2 inches to the left and our car was almost running into it. Mr Pastor bursted out in tongues while Miss Slayer screamed “BLOOD OF JESUS” with an intensity that could raise a dead man. Other passengers rained abuses and caution on the driver as he quickly applied the brake making that krrrrrrrrrrr sound we only hear in Nollywood movies when an accident is about to happen.
Immediately after this great deliverance, the driver switched back to Christian songs; that was the catalyst for the good rapport between Miss Slayer and Mr Pastor as they both sang along. Mr pastor couldn’t stop blaming the averted accident on the unholy music that was being played at that time and this cracked me up big time.
When it was time for Miss Slayer to alight just before we got to the final bus stop, she finally succumbed to Mr Fresh boy’s pleas to have her contact; something akin to young boys and girls of nowadays on transit. But, how is that my business kwanu?
Finally, we arrived the park in good time and I rushed off to pick the next bus to my final destination silently thanking ‘Nollywood’ for making sure I had a nice time, I was definitely going to miss my actors and actresses.