I remember the first time I sat with my fiancé in our first marriage counselling session. The Reverend gave us an assignment for each of us to write down what we wanted from the other person as a spouse, stating it clearly and starting with words like “I want Emmanuel/Chinasa to…
I wrote three pages while my fiancé wrote one page.
Three whole pages of what I wanted my husband to do for me!
I was going into marriage with a truck load of expectations and Reverend took his time to read out all the things I wrote and guess what He told me at the end- “Chinasa, just go and get married to the Holy Spirit.”
I bursted into laughter. We all laughed so hard that I almost fell from my seat!
It wasn’t until our Reverend read them out that I realized how selfish I was and how I was seeking for what I would get even though they looked noble. He also read out my fiancé’s and we were both guilty of the same crime.
But that was a much needed eye opener to our better understanding of what marriage was all about.
When you enter marriage with a “taker” mindset, you’ll end up weighing down each other with your insatiable expectations and one day, you may burn out and throw in the towel.
So, my dear bride-to-be, as you are going into marriage, you are starting a journey that will reveal who you are in the realest of ways.
You’ll see all that you really are glaring right back at you, but the beautiful thing is you’ll be broken, remolded, shaped and perfected into the very image of Christ- this is the goal of marriage.
The goal is not for your happiness, or to have your needs met. The goal is not even for you to complement each other per say. Any marriage that is not headed towards the ultimate goal of Christ likeness will leave both parties unfulfilled.
In this week’s post, I intended talking about shopping tips for brides-to-be but I realized it’s important to put first things first!
So, I’ll ask a couple of questions and you’ll need to answer to yourself sincerely:
Does your Fiancé spur you to become more like Christ everyday?
As a lady, can you put your hands in His, close your eyes and allow Him lead you?
Will He lead you closer to the Lord?
Do you believe that together, you two will work at fulfilling God’s purpose on the earth?
Will your marriage be an end in itself or are you uniting to an end that is greater than you two?
You may want to sit and give this some thought.
Marriage is for the Glory of God! A Christian marriage is not just one in which the couple go to church but one in which both are seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness in their home.
It is one filled with selflessness, mutual submission and continuous striving by both parties to out-do each other in love and faithfulness. It is a journey towards Christ likeness!
I believe these should form the basis on which you build your home because you’ll need to make tough decisions together and you want to be sure your foundation is solid so your boat doesn’t sink in the raging waves of life.
And don’t forget, Your vows will be tested in the strongest and strangest of ways- daily!
It is my prayer and desire that we all have marriage the way God intended and enjoy it to the fullest.
Before I go, I’m assuming we are now on the same page and next week, I’ll be sharing lots of tips for shopping for your wedding that’ll help you avoid common mistakes akin to brides-to-be. I also made those mistakes, that’s why I want you to learn from them.
I want to see you happy, calm and radiant on your big day.
Stay tuned. Subscribe and be the first to know… Muah!!!
Do have a great week ahead!