(The story of Pamela and the devil)
“I came to buy your seed”, the devil said
He negotiated with the woman and offered her a certain price which at that moment seemed very enticing and was all that mattered to Pamela…Just like he did to Eve.
Pamela gave in, not because she wanted to, but because she didn’t know the importance of her seed… It looked small, unformed and insignificant.
So he collects the seed and hands her the toys. She settles for the toy she bought with her seed…it was very fanciful and fun to be with. It was very portable to hang around with so she carries it, treasures it and nurtures it like she would have done to her seed.
Pamela doesn’t immediately lose her life giving ability rather she pours it into this toy and every God given energy is poured in but since the toy has no life and can’t grow, it saps away her energy, draining her of life and yet not growing.
This was how Pamela began to die gradually; the life that should have been poured into her seed was now being poured into a toy.
The devil doesn’t go away, he comes back still with her seed in his hand, but this time because it hasn’t been nurtured and fed all this while, it looks shrunken and withered but not yet dead.
Pamela kept looking at her seed and she sees all she would have accomplished, all the potentials locked up in her. She sees her tomorrow and her unborn generations calling out to her.
The devil allows her to see it so he can bring in one of his most powerful instruments- guilt
So as she sees all these, she sees the present state of her life and oh…there’s a wide gap between them which drives her even further away
Just then her toys cry out for attention and as she moves towards them, she finds them even more pleasurable and because of the guilt in her heart, she embraces them, determined this time to use them to make herself feel good and fill up the void spaces in her heart.
That was how she settled for less- and the devil smiled.
At this point, she still feels so worthless and useless. So the devil pumps more of his toys towards her. This time they are more fanciful and fun to be with. She clings to them more dearly and since they are more in number now, she is even more distracted and busy. So for a while she forgets about her seed and worries less.
Of course they tend to keep her occupied, but they never get to fill the space in her heart created by the absence of her seed. . . It was like a square peg in a round hole.
Surprisingly, her toys never became any happier despite her efforts. They only became more and more demanding and ungrateful.
Once again the devil returns, this time he doesn’t camouflage. He came out plain. Pamela sees him as he is and realizes what he had done. But she is completely spent, burnt up and tired.
Her seed is still in his hand. It is looking so small, rough and ugly. But it is still alive, though it appears dead. “It’s dead” she concludes and lets go, but the space in her heart is still there and there is nothing that can fill it. She still feels very empty, really empty.
The devil lies to her again that there is no hope. He offers more and more toys to make her happy. But this time, she rejects them because she is fed up with them. She seems to have seen what they really are, toys, mere toys.
In the midst of her despair and confusion, the devil comes again for what may seem to be his last chance with a mixture of joy (at his seemingly accomplished task) and rage…to utterly destroy the seed and kill the woman.
So he openly declares his mission to the woman. He roars and rages and shouts as if he has got all the power in the universe still with the little, almost lifeless seed in his hand. He roars and roars (that’s all he can do) thus instilling fear into the woman. He came for war and is out to eliminate her.
It was this time she realized her seed still had breath in it and looked exactly how it was at first. Nothing had happened to it only that it appeared to be dead! The devil made it so all this while.
So she decides to fight for her seed because she realized how much she loved her seed. But her strength is spent. She fights the devil but he seems to overpower her. Oh that she had the word- the weapon which he can’t stand.
But nobody had told her…nobody had told her that the price for her sins had been paid and she was bought with a price.
Nobody had told her that the battle had been fought and won, and victory was hers.
Nobody told her who she was in Christ Jesus
Nobody told her how God was madly in love with her and longed for her
Nobody told her that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus…
Nobody told her how beautiful she was and how God already accepted her
Nobody told her how blessed she was and that she was the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus
Nobody told her about the cross!
So she fights and fights… and fights
Since the devil has been at his job for ages, he knew just what to do- let her fight even more and hide knowledge from her. He knows how powerless he is, so he uses his tricks and devices.
Pamela, seeing that she is losing the battle, decides to give in. Oh what agony of heart she experiences as her seed seems to move an inch and she realises its still alive. She is torn in between her love for her seed and her utter helplessness. She loves her seed but she lacks the strength to fight to have it back.
So she fights even harder, the devil still roaring and letting out vehement threats. For the last time, she fights harder than ever before. Oh Brave Pamela…but the arm of flesh will fail you!
Like a flash of light, she remembers her nursery school days…oh that lovely aunty who once told her many years ago “when you are in trouble, just say, God help me, He will answer you”
But she banishes that thought, for she hasn’t even prayed for…God knows how long! Ever since she lost her dad and mum in a motor accident which left her badly injured with a disfigured face when she was 4. She stopped going to church because she was angry with God.
She literarily hated him for taking away her parents at such a tender age and leaving her with an uncle who forced her to abide to certain rules in order to please a God who she felt hated her too and she just couldn’t keep the rules.
So why should she ever ask for his help at a time like this. She would rather give in to the devil than pray the simple prayer to a “wicked and distant God”
But the thought kept coming, gently urging her to take the chance and say those few words… for God planted eternity in the heart of man, that all men should seek him.
But the devil roars even louder. He mixes his threats with empty promises they both knew he would never keep… “i will give you the whole earth” he retorted.
She took the chance, thank God she did… she said that all important prayer, those simple words! Simple yet profound.
And what amazed her most was that Jesus was right there with her, not behind her or around her, not very close. He neither came nor prepared to come… he was inside her. For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us!
He was there all along, drawing her to himself. He swept over her, His Grace and kindness rushing all over her.
She wept and wept for it overwhelmed her how much He loved her. She now saw it, she now knew it!
She was saved and her seed given back to her…still intact…For His seed remains in him!
She was now a new creature, loved and purchased by Her Prince Charming. He would never leave her (he never did ). He was her ever present help and the lover of her soul!