I said “Yes” to a man I thought I loved; a man that made me go nuts. I had heard people say they seek God about who to marry but when I saw my prince charming; I thanked God for saving me the stress. I didn’t need to do any ‘seeking’ or so I thought.
He was the TDH every lady wanted. He made me happy and laugh a lot. He made me smile even when he was absent; just the thought of him left me grinning from ear to ear. He pampered me and carried me like an egg. Life was just too good to be true.
My two friends envied me and considered me the luckiest girl on earth.
“Girl, he is so cute, awwww see the height and the muscles. Plus he is rich, your wedding is going to be dope; you are so lucky.” Tonia said.
She was right except that I worried about one thing- we seemed not to be on the same spiritual frequency; we were not of like minds.
“Yea, but our value system differ a bit and besides he doesn’t know God that much or even teach me God’s word.” I cried.
“Everyone must not be spiricoco like you, loosen up a bit. He is ok jare. You are too spiritual and what you need is a hopeless romantic to spice up your life. You two are a perfect match.” Debby answered.
“See, you can’t have all you want.” Tonia added. “That’s why you have to use your spirituality to make up for him; that’s how it works these days. Men are scare, so you have to make do with what you have.”
“Tonia, shebi you always see the way he rushes to open the door for her anytime we go out… something we only see in American movies. This girl is lucky! Who still does that these days? The guy is a very nice guy” Debby wouldn’t stop talking.
They not only encouraged me, they convinced me so much I started agreeing with them. He was indeed a nice guy.
Our genotype matched, our families gelled so well it seemed we had known each other for ages. Everything happened so fast; one thing led to another and we finally decided to take the bull by the horn. And…
I said “Yes.”
That was when I realized I … I said yes to a man who has never increased my knowledge of Christ or challenged me to love him more.
Though my Prince charming went to Church and knew about God, he wasn’t passionate like me. He was “just there.”
Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad guy at all; but he was not the “God-guy” a “God-girl” like me wanted. Read my post on Being a God-girl HERE
After all the ‘romanticness’ and wealth, I now realize that what matters most in life is the image of Christ being formed in me.
My dear young ladies you may think I am sounding too spiritual; well, wait till the hunger God has placed in your heart for him wakes you up in the middle of the night as your soul reaches out to the one who gave his life for you-the love of your life and you realize that the man lying next to you in bed cares nothing about that.
Wait till you talk about how you want to spend more time in God’s presence and he thinks you are either crazy or having an affair… Well, you can’t blame him at this point because he doesn’t understand, no he can’t.
When you talk about loving God wholeheartedly, pleasing him and doing his work on earth while you can and he thinks you are speaking Greek.
When you look back and realize that you chose the things your flesh craved for over what your spirit needed so much, I hope you can explain that to your aching heart and thirsty soul.
What will you do when you realize that you have entrusted the right to take your life decisions to one who knows nothing of the author of life, hmmm I hope you are can forgive ‘you’.
I mean what you hold so dear will be trivialized and trampled upon, it will be explained away and coated with so much frivolities.
Ehen, that reminds me;
How will you explain to your children that their father can’t teach them God’s word or teach them to pray or even take them to Sunday school because he doesn’t think it’s that important.
That he won’t be coming for morning devotion because he thinks it’s a ‘women and children meeting.’
How will you make them understand that he can neither love them the way they long for nor provide spiritual guidance for them because he doesn’t understand what the love of the father means and has never been led by the Spirit.
I bet they won’t understand that their father is just like every other guy on the street who knows nothing of living a holy life by the power of the Holy Spirit and staying true and faithful.
That he doesn’t know jack about trusting the Fatherly care and providence of your heavenly Father hence can lie and cheat just to make ends meet.
That since his value system is porous and weak and He doesn’t know of the Grace of God that teaches us to say “No”, you have to live with the fear of a possible infidelity since he believes that all men cheat.
I don’t know how they will feel when they discover they don’t have a Father they can proudly look up to, admire and strive to be like when they are grown- a model Father.
Dearie, don’t let anyone lie to you that marriage is not spiritual. Life is already spiritual and without the help of the Holy Spirit and the continuous infusion of the word leading to a deeper knowledge of Christ, the flesh will always get the upper hand and you will make a mess of this beautiful institution.
Finally, the family has been structured by God to run under the spiritual leadership of the man; Nne, you can’t explain that away!
Don’t say “YES” to a man who has not known the love of the Father; he can neither be the Father you want nor the husband you need.
You might want to think about that!
Let’s go ahead and say “YES” to God’s man, that way we will have marriage God’s way.