We have almost come to the end of this month and it’s been beautiful all the way. I presume we have not forgotten about our Grateful Heart club. If you haven’t started, the best time to start is now. You can check it out on my previous post here: 2017 Grateful Heart Club
Today, I will be sharing an insight on a matter that bothered me for a long time until I saw the truth in God’s word. It’s about a conversation I had with an older woman I met at a wedding and the lessons I learnt.
This post serves two purposes: first to encourage the heart of the younger women like me who have been taught wrongly at some point in their lives or who have seen or observed ills in the society that have become like a norm. I want to use this medium to encourage your hearts to believe God for your marriage.
Secondly; I don’t intend to throw stones on anybody, but to address this subject with hope that we both will learn since we will become the older women of tomorrow and will have the opportunity to speak to younger women too.
Now to the conversation I had sometime ago; a married woman was instructing me in a way that made me shudder. I became afraid initially and my heart was burdened and filled with questions that I didn’t find answers to until I found this scripture (Titus 2:3-5).
It was during a relatives wedding, she was present and we got into marriage talk. She sat me down and told me how to be manipulative, how to speak my mind to my husband no matter what he says, how to smuggle things from my home to my parents home (because according to her, my husband would be partial), how to hide things from him and ‘tear’ eye for him. In fact she said so many things and I just listened.
To the natural woman, everything she said made some sense and would yield results as that was the strategy she was applying in her own home, she seemed to be very good at it and it paid off well for her too.
But what does the bible say about this?
Teach the older women to be quiet and respectful in everything they do. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers, but they should be teachers of goodness. These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children and to be sensible and clean minded, spending their time in their own homes, being kind and obedient to their husbands so that the Christian faith can’t be spoken against by those who know them.
I would have really loved to reel out all the different translations of this passage that I have read so we can understand it more but for want of space and time, I will leave that for you to do.
The older women are not meant to teach the younger women how to manipulate their husbands, store up money in a secret account, be stubborn to their in-laws, be ‘smart’ and unsubmissive to their husbands and all that. No, they are to teach us to be submissive, love our husbands and children and manage our homes.
They should teach us to be kind, self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home and submissive as well. They should teach us to be respectful and courteous, productive and industrious, to be very supportive rather than antagonistic and nagging. We should look up to them for instructions on goodness and walking in love.
Also, they are not to be a source of discouragement to us by telling us how difficult and selfish men are and how we need to use our ‘woman power’ to get things from them. They should also stop telling us that with time, the love our husband has for us will wax cold and he will surely cheat on us. They should stop telling us how marriage is only sweet in the first two years and how we have to endure through the remaining long years. If this has been their testimony, I am really sorry about that and I pray and believe God to give them a new beginning. But this is not God’s word or his plan for us; that’s not the way it should be.
I am writing about this because it has been said so much that so many people are already expecting it to happen. We have heard stories and received advice that ended up weakening our faith in God’s unchanging word.
Next time when someone tells you stuffs like this, call it bluff. Don’t let it sink, don’t even let them into your heart, if you do they will form a stronghold of fear and doubt that the enemy will capitalize on.
Always dispel every lie with the truth of God’s word.
Remember, we are not supposed to use our situations to explain away God’s word but rather use his word to configure our circumstances in life.
There are still faithful men; there are still godly, beautiful marriages. Though they don’t always make the news (like abuse and divorce cases do), but they surely exist and that is what we are striving for- having marriage and family Gods way.
You remember godly women of old right? You remember Sarah? What was she commended for? She was Respectful, Faithful and Submissive. She called Abraham Lord! That is a good model.
God’s word and standard stands true and sure, we must be careful of influences from the world. They will leave our families battered and in dire need of help. They will help us in acquiring and acquiring all the power and ‘emancipation’ we crave for and leave our families short of God’s glory. I can bet this is not what we desire.
As an older woman, let God use you to raise godly women who will be wives of our Presidents, Senators, Pastors, Governors, and leaders in all spheres, even the simple peasant farmer or roadside trader needs a godly wife that will be submissive and not manipulative. Women who like Abigail will save their husbands, women like Deborah who will lead the nation and still man the home front, women like Esther, Ruth and Mary, full of faith and courage yet submissive.
And as a younger woman, when you become older; you already know what to teach the younger women of that time, don’t you?
Let’s do it together
God loves you fiercely